BUTTERFLIES

There he is, in his checked shirt, smiling, as usual. He makes me smile. When I'm around him I feel like a girl;  I giggle a lot, touch my hair and say whatever comes to my mind. He's unattainable, of course, he made that clear some time ago, but still, it's nice to have a crush on someone. And to feel butterflies in my stomach. 

There she is, dressed in one of her girly dresses. This one is short. I think that if she bent a little I could actually see her underwear. God, now I have that image in my head. She's nice, but definitively not my type. And she's a co-worker. I never do co-workers. Co-workers are off-limits. But she does have nice legs, and she's funny, and clever. She's a good girl, that's what she is. And definitively not my type.

His hair is shorter than usual, I can't help but teasing him about it. We laugh. You know, some girls fall for the looks. I myself usually fall for the looks. But this time is different. He is fine looking, but there's something else. He's easy to be with and he gets me. He really does. Like no one else has done before. And he makes my eyes shine.

She's looking at me. I don't know what to say. She looks tired. I give her a smile and listen to what she says. She talks a lot. About anything. I can see she's shy. I sometimes think she might like me. At least that's what it looks like. But then again, I might be wrong. Maybe she just wants us to be friends. I mean, she actually talks about other guys sometimes. She wouldn't do that if she liked me, would she?

He types something on the computer, answers the phone. I watch him in silence. I don't need to fill up this silence. It feels good. He asks me about my weekend. I tell him I met a guy. He makes a funny face. I ask him about his weekend. I feel a slight pang in my stomach fearing he's gonna say he has met someone special. But he never does. 

I wonder what she is like in bed. She's one of these girls who looks like a lady to everyone but to her lover. Anyway, I told her once I don't date co-workers. There are plenty of nice girls out there to have sex with. But this girl is different. She intrigues me. I feel easy and uneasy when she's around. I don't have feelings for her, that's for sure, but I miss her when a few days go by without her presence. Maybe what I miss is the attention she pays to what I say or do. She makes me feel good.

Just thinking of him lights up my eyes. I know it's never gonna happen, but he would make a good boyfriend. We would be good together, in and outside our bubble, though I can see he has a temper. I'm not that naive. But I could deal with it... 

Well, I need to stop dreaming, but in the meantime I'll enjoy the "what it could be if..." stage. Until someone wakes me up. Meanwhile, I'll enjoy my butterflies.