LADY IN RED

I am finally going to rest tonight, I have decided it is the right moment to stop the clocks and disconnect my phones.

My hot bubble bath is awaiting, I light some scented candles and I get in the water. I take some big breaths while listening to Sixpence None the Richer's Anything. I am not in the mood for singing tonight, I just want to relax and let go. Some people don't understand how exhausting my life is: life is, after all, a game, and if you are not a good player you keep on taking risks and losing. And I'm not a loser, never have been, it's just that I am not lucky. Or maybe I'm not clever enough to play the cards I've been given. I've been trying hard to get better at this. I have watched other players win and leave the table, even though some of them had cheated. Every time a new game starts I'm there, waiting for my hand to be better, but the best cards I get are an ace-queen high or a king high, that is, garbage.

So I'm giving up, I'm exhausted. I feel sleepy now, my pain killers are starting to kick in. I make sure all of my dress is under the water. I close my eyes. This is it. I finally get to rest.